A Primer on Lube, Plus Some of My Favorites

If you read my sex toy reviews, you may have a noticed a trend: I bring up lube quite often. In almost every post, actually. Why? Well, a few reasons. First of all, I want to destigmatize the use of lube in the first place. Far too many people still believe that using lube is somehow synonymous to not being turned on, rather than understanding that many bodies do get turned on and still don’t produce enough natural lubrication to have comfortable, let alone pleasurable, sex. Not using lube when you need it can also lead to vaginal tearing and condom breakage, which leaves your body more vulnerable to contracting STIs (and getting pregnant, of course). So yes, please lube up y’all, there’s absolutely no shame in your game.

The second reason is more utilitarian: There are different kinds of lubricants, all of which serve different purposes and are best-suited to certain activities, and using the wrong one could have unintended, even disastrous results. For example, one thing I’m always reiterating is that silicone-based lube can degrade silicone toys, opening up your toys (and eventually your own body parts) to a lot of nasty bacteria and germs. Oil-based lubricants degrade latex and polyurethane/polyisoprene condoms, which can lead to breakage – something nobody wants.

So what kind of lube should you use? Let’s get into it…

Water-based

Water-based is what I think of as the most basic, trusty, no-worries lube. Water-based lube works with all types of condoms and is safe to use with your silicone and plastic sex toys (and those are pretty much the only materials you should trust for sex toys; please don’t ever expose your precious pussy to toxic jelly or rubber toys, which are porous and well-known for harboring bacteria). However, water-based lube can be rather tacky and may feel less natural than other lubes, and tends to last the shortest amount of time when compared to other lubricants. Far too many cheap water-based lubes also contain glycerin, which is a known issue for vaginas and can lead to yeast infections.

Good for: Pretty much everything, and a good baseline if you’re trying out lube for the first time. It’s also the only kind of lube you can 100% safely use with silicone toys.

My favorites: Good Clean Love’s entire line of organic, pH-balanced water-based lubes are a godsend for sensitive vaginas, and their gel lube is great for when you need some extra cushioning (it’s also usually in stock at Target and similar places). Sliquid H20 is a light, natural-feeling lubricant with excellent ingredients.

Silicone-Based

Silicone-based lube is my personal favorite, as it tends to feel more natural (at least to me) than water-based, doesn’t get sticky over time, and lasts longer. It does have a few drawbacks, though: It can stain sheets (though I find I rarely have that issue, and you can always put a towel down if you’re worried), and because it lasts so long, you may find that you need to wash it off after having sex. As I’ve already mentioned, silicone-based lube is also a big no-no when it comes to silicone sex toys, as they can degrade the material over time, making it porous and allowing for bacteria to get in.

Good for: Longer sex sessions, or if you just want a more natural feeling. Also recommended for anal sex, as it is less irritating to the tender skin in your anus (and studies have found that those who use silicone-based lube, rather than water-based, tended to contract STIs less often from anal sex). Works with plastic sex toys.

My favorites: Wet Platinum silicone lube is my go-to; the ingredients aren’t irritating, it doesn’t break my bank account, and I can find it easily at Target or Walgreens. Uberlube is pretty fantastic and contains vitamin E, which can be soothing and moisturizing, but it’s also awfully expensive (I was lucky enough to get samples once from my pelvic floor PT). Sliquid Silver is reliable and not too hard to find.

Hybrid Lubes

Hybrid lubes are, you guessed it, a hybrid of multiple types of lube, most often a combo of water- and silicone-based. They tend to last longer than water-based, but obviously shorter than silicone-based, and are fairly easy to clean up. Of course, the same drawbacks to silicone-based lube still apply: they shouldn’t be used with latex condoms or silicone toys (though, if I’m being totally honest, you have some wiggle room with toys, as long as you wash the toy thoroughly immediately after use). Hybrid lube also looks the most like real bodily fluids (it has a slightly “milkier” appearance), so if that’s something that appeals to you, it may be a relevant factor. There are also oil/water hybrid lubes, but I don’t personally recommend them (see the next section on oil-based lubes).

Good for: If you want a longer-lasting, less tacky option than water-based lube, or a less messy option than silicone-based, or if you want the most natural-/realistic-looking option possible.

My favorites: Sliquid Silk and Sliquid Organics Silk Hybrid are both great options, especially if you have a sensitive vagina or sensitive skin.

Oil-Based

I’m going to say upfront that I’m not a big fan of oil-based lubes, which typically employ coconut oil for a base (most other oil bases—mineral oils, baby oil, etc.—are not FDA-approved for sexual use at all, so make sure you buy a product that is made specifically to be used during sex, and read the ingredients). In my opinion, the drawbacks outweigh their usefulness, but your mileage may vary and some people swear by the stuff. Coconut oil is all-natural and vegan, which is one reason a lot of people want to use it, and long-lasting – so long-lasting, in fact, that it can hang out in your vaginal folds causing problems if you don’t thoroughly wash it off after use. Also keep in mind that oil-based lube  cannot be used with condoms (they will cause breakage), and they can fuck with your delicate vaginal pH, especially if you’re sensitive or prone to yeast infections/bacterial vaginosis/UTIs.

Good for: When you need a very long-lasting option, or if you’re allergic to the ingredients in other lubricants (though coconut allergies also happen, so make sure to test your lube on a small area before going wild with it).

My favorites: As I said, I don’t use oil-based lubes, so unfortunately I don’t have any recommendations (and I refuse to recommend anything I haven’t tried or wouldn’t use on myself). All I’ll say is, if you’re going to use an oil-based lube, look for a reputable brand that can back up its ingredients – and remember that very few studies have actually been done on the effects of coconut oil on the vagina, so take companies’ claims with a grain of salt. Finally, do NOT go out and buy a jar of coconut oil from the store, as most coconut oil does not contain preservatives and will quickly become a breeding ground for bacteria, especially if you use your fingers or any other non-sanitary implement to retrieve the oil.