No Pills, Plz: Why I’m Done with Birth Control Pills

It feels a bit wrong to be writing anything that criticizes birth control methods these days—considering the state of women’s rights in the U.S. and the obliteration of Roe v. Wade, we need access to a wide range of birth control options now more than ever. However, I’m also a firm believer in giving people all the facts so they can make the healthiest decisions for themselves, and the truth is, no birth control method is perfect, and no method is going to work for everyone. This post is not a judgment on you if you use the pill, and it doesn’t mean there aren’t situations or people for whom the pill will work just fine, or be necessary. This is simply my experience with it and why I, personally, do not want to go on it again.

Okay? Let’s get into it.

The pill doesn’t fix problems, it masks them. Despite being prescribed as a “solution” to every menstrual issue under the sun, the pill does not actually fix any menstrual disorder. So while going on the pill may provide temporary relief from problems like debilitating cramps or extremely heavy bleeding, those problems will likely be waiting for you as soon as you go off the pill. And since most people don’t plan to be on the pill for their entire lives or need to stop for various reasons (like getting pregnant), it can only be a temporary solution.

The pill effects your hormones – and those effects can last. I’ve discussed my bad breakup with birth control pills on this blog before, but basically, birth control can have long-term, deleterious effects on the hormones that power your cycle and your sex drive, especially a) when the pill is “low-dose,” b) it’s used for long periods of time, and/or c) if you started taking the pill before the age of sixteen. Essentially, birth control pills can, over time, teach your body to stop producing adequate amounts of sex hormones, which can lead to a lower sex drive, pelvic pain, pain during intercourse, and other problems.

Unfortunately, the majority of gynos still don’t seem to have caught on and will blithely prescribe low-dose estrogen birth control pills without acknowledging any of these possible side effects. I had to find a pelvic pain specialist in order for someone to acknowledge that birth control pills could be the root of my problems, despite it being an increasingly common issue. As I said, it’s mainly an issue that occurs with low-dose pills used over a significant period of time, but because my doctors never mentioned any of these side effects (and most didn’t even know they were a possibility), I have a lot of trouble trusting gynecologists in general, especially when it comes to fucking around with my hormones. I would rather just not.

I like the ebb and flow of a natural cycle. Your menstrual cycle has a natural rhythm, and it goes hand-in-hand with your sex drive. Everyone is different, but this is pretty much how it goes for me: The first week or two after my period ends (the follicular phase until ovulation), my body is gearing up for its fertile period and going to be horny as hell. It’s what I and a lot of women lovingly refer to as the “feral phase,” when I find myself hounding my partner for sex multiple times a day. After ovulation, things calm down a bit; my vagina becomes less sensitive and it gets harder for me to orgasm as I start to get a little premenstrual and grumpy… until I get my period, and all that extra blood rushing to my vadge makes me horny again, balancing out the general shittiness of having to have a period.

Basically, it’s a cycle that makes sense to me, and it keeps me feeling balanced and healthy. I like that my sex drive goes up and down throughout the month in a way that it never did when I was on the pill. Which leads me to…

The pill totally killed my sex drive. On the pill, there is no natural ebb and flow to your sex drive; it’s pretty steady state, and for me, that state was… low. And it only got worse the longer I was on the pill, no matter how many times my doctor switched my brand. By the time I finally got off it, after more than ten years of constant use, my sex drive had dwindled to almost non-existent. Flash forward to a year after getting off the pill (and being treated for my pill-provoked vulvodynia), and for the first time in my life, I got to experience my real sex drive—

and once I experienced the full force of it and realized what it could be, I knew I could never go back to what it had been like when I was on the pill. I can’t imagine robbing myself of the gift that I now consider my natural sex drive to be. Not only that, but I feel so much more in tune with my body and what it needs, and after a lifetime of pretty much the opposite, that really feels like a beautiful thing.

If you’ve ever been on the pill, did if effect your sex drive or health? Was it worth it for you?

(Note: I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice; I’m presenting my own experiences for informational purposes, but you should consult with your doctor before making any changes that may affect your health.)

Header image via Unsplash.