About

Welcome

Welcome to L.A. Jayne (after Mansfield, of course), a girly repository for my sex-related thoughts. I’m Claire, a writer, author, and podcaster – as well as a queer millennial recovering from… a lot. Vulvodynia & vaginismus, the shitty U.S. health care system, being raised in the early aughts (diet/celeb culture – iykyk), and currently existing in a society that devalues and shames women and queer people, no matter what they do with their bodies. This blog is a small attempt at making sense of it all.

I feel very strongly that a healthy, satisfying sex life—in whatever form that may take—is a vital and all-too-often overlooked, or outright dismissed, part of mental and physical well-being, especially when it comes to women and queer people. In the medical field, women’s pain is routinely distrusted, under-treated, and misdiagnosed as psychological – when we know it’s real. For women of color and queer/trans folks, the disparity in treatment is even worse. Pleasure and sexual satisfaction often seem like a complete afterthought to professionals.

I spent years suffering with undiagnosed vulvodynia and vaginismus (conditions that can make sex extremely painful, or unbearable) because my pain was constantly waved off or misdiagnosed by doctors. (My favorite anecdote is the gyno who told me to “just have a baby” because that “might” solve the problem. He had nothing to say when I informed him that I never wanted children, so… that appointment was $100 down the drain.) At a certain point, I stopped asking and accepted that pain and anxiety would always be a part of my sex life.

It wasn’t until much later that I stumbled upon an article about “birth control pill provoked vulvodynia,” which seemed to match all of my symptoms, and was able to use that info to find a specialist who actually knew what the hell she was doing. The specialist confirmed my suspicions and got me off birth control and onto a treatment plan (shout-out to my pelvic floor physical therapist, Jackie – the unsung MVP of my sex life). It’s taken years, a whole lot of out-of-pocket health insurance costs, and a mighty collection of sex toys, but today I finally have the satisfying, happy, pain-free sex life I was craving for far too long.

Basically, I can’t shut up about it.

These days, I just want to help other women and queer folks in whatever ways I can, particularly by talking about sexuality and pleasure without shame. If I hadn’t felt so deeply ashamed of my problems and the fact that they revolved around sex, maybe I would have found better help sooner. There’s a huge stigma around actually talking about sex and pleasure, especially any kind that doesn’t fit the mainstream idea of what a person “should” want (some of that good ol’ American P-in-V, and not the silicone kind, either) – and there’s so much shame around not fitting that mold, shame that our society constantly reinforces.

But sex and pleasure are not frivolous things, and it’s not wrong or selfish or embarrassing to want to fully express that side of yourself. I believe there’s a path to a satisfying sex life for everyone (and it doesn’t require a partner), and the surest way to find it is through open-minded exploration of your body and its desires – without judgment.

This blog is a middle finger to shame, and a love letter to all the sex toys helping us along the way.

About Claire (a.k.a. Jayne)

I’m an Elgin Award-nominated poet – for my debut book of poetry, I Am Not Your Final Girl – and writer from Philadelphia, currently living in Los Angeles. My writing explores stigmatized issues at the junction of feminism, sexuality, and horror. I’m interested in all forms of art strange, subversive, and scorned by the mainstream, especially horror movies and romance novels. To that end, I also co-host a podcast exploring romance novels and sexuality.

I love binge-watching horror movies with my husband and my dog, Chief Brody (yes, from Jaws), hiking in the best weather ever (gotta love L.A.!), and more recently, learning how to skateboard (slowly… so slowly).

Please use the contact page if you’d like to get in touch for any reason.

A Word On Language

You will often find me saying the words “woman,” “women,” or “queer folks” as a catch-all on this site. My language is not meant to be exclusionary of anyone in any way, but I will often use these words for brevity’s sake. Please know that if you identify as a woman, regardless of your assigned gender at birth, I am including you under the umbrella of that word.

Where to Start

If you want to get to know me, this post is good place to start.

If you’re here for my (women’s issues/pop culture) essays, use this tag.

If you’re here because you have or are recovering from vulvodynia or vaginismus, you may be interested in those website tags, my post on pelvic floor physical therapy, my Dilating 101 post, or the small dildos review tag.

If you’re interested in an update on my chronic health issues, read this post.

How Readers Can Support My Writing

If you enjoy my writing or have found it useful or educational, you can support me in a number of ways:

  • Subscribe to this blog’s posts
  • Follow me on Twitter/X or Instagram
  • Use my affiliate links (in the right sidebar of this blog and at the bottom of my toy reviews) to shop; I’ll get a commission and it won’t cost you anything!
  • Buy my book, I Am Not Your Final Girl, or buy a shirt from my TeePublic store
  • And sharing posts is always helpful and very appreciated!